If Kate Bush Were a Gay Man Trolling the Internet for Sex and Validation...
By now you should know that I'm a total Kate Bush "nutter." (This is the appropriately British phrase adopted by some members of the Kate Bush forums - which, yes, I visit almost every day - to describe us die-hard Kate lovers. Given her substantial gay following, I'm assuming a phrase like "Bush lovers" was a no-go.)
Bush released the first (and likely only) single from her new album last month. Of course, we all listen to music through the lens of our own experience. But sometimes a song speaks so directly to one's life that lenses become unnecessary.
Here, then, is the song, "Deeper Understanding." For regular readers of this blog, the overlaps between the lyrics and my life of late probably need no comment. But if you're new to "Diary of a Gay Breakup," here is a musical summary of the last four months, told in the form of a call-and-response between Bush's lyrics (below, in italics) and myself (in brackets beside them).
Press play now and read along...
As the people here grow colder [Ex dumps me.]
I turn to my computer [And I start blogging.]
And spend my evenings with it
Like a friend. [Writing my little heart out.]
I was loading a new program [OkCupid, Manhunt]
I had ordered from a magazine: ["I would use for promiscuity."]
"Are you lonely, are you lost? [I was.]
This voice console is a must." ["This web-camera is a must."]
I press Execute.
"Hello. [Said several dozen men.]
"I know that you've been feeling tired.
"I bring you love [Said none of them.]
"And deeper understanding.
"Hello. [Another dozen men.]
"I know that you've been feeling tired.
"I bring you love [Said none of them.]
"And deeper understanding."
Well I've never felt such pleasure. [Men want me!]
Nothing else seemed to matter. [Men I don't want!]
I neglected my bodily needs. [I'm still not exercising!]
I did not eat. [I wish.]
I did not sleep. [Micro-naps at work.]
The intensity increasing [Dom.]
Til my family found me and intervened. [Had my family "found me" with Dom, the song would have ended here with my dying of embarrassment.]
But I was lonely, I was lost, [Yup.]
Lost, so lost without my little black box.
I pick up the phone and go Execute. ["I turn on my cam and go Destitute."]
"Hello. [Say twinks and bears and Doms.]
"I know that you've been feeling tired.
"I bring you love [This ain't no Match.com.]
"And deeper understanding.
"Hello. ["Hey..."]
"I know that you've been feeling tired.
"I bring you love ["That would be nice someday."]
"And deeper understanding."
I turn to my computer...
Like a friend.
6 comments:
wow--spent the last three days reading all of your posts. found your blog after my bf of three years determined he could no longer love me and we should separate. During my crying spells i use your blog for insight, so thanks. thanks a bunch.
MAM
Hi MAM,
Thanks so much for sharing your comment. I'm still a breakup novice, but in case the sadness has hold of you like it had hold of me, I promise, it DOES get better. Be good to yourself and stay strong...
Steve
i like! really :)
i follow u
saludos desde chile!
peace out!
Ro!
Thank you, Ro!
Steve,
Your blog is great! Having recently ended things after a one year relationship, I feel I'm on the "condensed version" of what you have been writing. After 1.5 months, I'm already on Adam4Adam all the time, so I think I'm on par with where you are at these days...
Best of luck to you and thanks for putting yourself out there...
Thank you, Thorough :) It's funny -- I'm not on Adam4Adam, but sometimes I wonder if I've ever run into people who have posted comments here on one of the many other dating sites I'm on. How is Adam4Adam?
Post a Comment